Sunday, December 16, 2007

Sick of waiting

This week-end has been rough, and it’s only half over. I haven’t wanted to say anything because I hate complaining and sounding like a whiner, but for the past year I haven’t been feeling well, and these past six months have been the worst. I’m exhausted all the time, and I just don’t feel like myself. On Wednesday I went in to see my doctor again, and I got to endure the silence as she once again studied my chart. (By the way, “I don’t know what to tell you” is NOT the most reassuring thing to hear from a doctor!). So, I spent Wednesday afternoon having more blood samples taken.
My doctor’s office has a policy where they only call you if your test results are positive. On Friday I got home from work and there was a message for me from the doctor’s office asking me to call, but they had already closed up for the week-end when I called back. So, now I get to wait until Monday morning. I can’t wait that long! I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!! They tested for so many different things that I just want to know what they found- or if they found anything, or if they’re just calling to say “someone lost a glove-was it you?” or something equally trivial.
This has been stressing me out since I got the message- it’s all I can think about. The entire time the phone was ringing I found myself praying, and just asking God that it not be something serious. So, please pray that I can relax and actually get some sleep and be patient while I wait for Monday to come. I’m already exhausted- I don’t want to miss even more sleep, plus this is a big week-end for my swimmers as they’re at another meet and I need to keep my focus on them. (This is probably the first time in my life I’ve ever looked forward to the week-end being over!).

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Staying Mum

Lately I’ve been very discouraged about my blogging (as evidenced by my lack of posting anything!). There are countless times when I’ve sat down to try and write something and can’t find the words. Anyone who takes a look at my laptop contents will see easily thirty half-written attempts at posting something.
As I spoke about in my last post, my relationship with Christ has been going well- I’m lacking in zeal no more! My devotions have been great and I really feel like I’m creating a deeper relationship with God. (I still haven’t found a new church yet, but I’ve been praying and I’m optimistic that God will lead me to the right one). So what have I found so discouraging? I feel like I have nothing of value to share. I’ll read all my regular blogs and get so much out of them. Verses or sentiments that people write about really touch me, and there are so many times when something I read will prompt me to study my Bible even more. I’ll sit down to write something and feel like I have absolutely nothing to say back. Somehow it just grew easier to say nothing at all then something boring and irrelevant.
Last week-end I had brunch with a friend who is also a recent university grad. Our topic of conversation was how this is a very uncertain time in our lives, with so many decisions to make and no idea what path our decisions would lead us down. My friend made the comment “I wish you could predict life”. I couldn’t help but think of my favourite verse. Even though we can’t predict life, as Christians we DO know that God has a plan for our lives- a plan to prosper us and not harm us, a plan to give us hope and a future. That’s something to be thankful for and carry in our hearts, especially with so many of us facing uncertainties.

In His Love-